25 years later

so this week marked the 25th anniversary of zoot's death. i walked by the wildest shore of the lake, down by the bluffs, in the grey drizzle and wind. it seemed fitting. zoot was sort of like those wild waves crashing onto the sand, rolling strong and breaking spectacularly; and the calm too, of the huge swells and flowing waters.

hard to believe so many years have passed.

and in the meantime, life goes on. we're all getting so used to the loss of elegance and propriety, and just plain goodness. 'tis a pity; but i'm glad i knew someone who came out of a different era, and who was a gentle person. a gentleman.

got all the venues lined up. it happened fairly quickly, after all. now i just have to find people who will come out to the show. that's the next job. pr. advertising. schmoozing. begging. marketing. hoping.

and i certainly trust in the power of love to be there for me, and guide things along even when i don't know how to make it happen. so go, love, go. get on out there and start to make your presence known and subtly influence the success of my creation.

Please?

truly, madly, deeply

had a friend ask me about the show the other day. wondering about my personal take.

the show, of course, is the story of my love affair - yes, literally, - with Zoot Sims. it's also the songs i wrote about him over the years since his death. but it's the personal story, of him, the person that i knew, just as a person, not a star, and it's also the story of myself, and how knowing him influenced me and my eventual musical path. it's a love and music story.

so the friend wondered if perhaps i had interpreted our affair with only my outlook, and maybe i was imagining more things true than were. what can i say? it is my outlook, my interpretation, my story. the man has died. but i did know him. and the tale is my honest feelings and portrays him as he truly appeared to me. i loved him; i think he loved me, even if it was a part-time relationship, and our lives were separate. what a person conveys about themselves can be felt, and i think Zoot was an honest person too.

it's taken me a long time to even tell the story publicly. it's been in my soul for a lot of years. i'm very sensitive to exposing it, and do not want to risk any false colourings. i want it to be real, like Zoot himself. it really is a simple story. i want to honour him.

follow zoot's lead

rehearsing the script; it's crazy - condensing all the years and time spent and feelings and whatever i think i learned; my portrait of all those years back. all boxed up and wrapped with the lovely songs. my isle of love.

what would my younger self say? probably would be out somewhere, doing, rather than thinking. to be sure.

here i sit, a-sewing, with my words and music. and to quote the beegees: "words are all i have to take your heart away"

some help slowly coming in from friends, answering the call for donations. (well, not donations, just advance ticket payments for the show and cd). - gotta get the cd's made. and a couple more good possibilities for the shows in august - venues, that is. some preliminary posters, press releases, and a marketing postcard. as we make our way onward.

but if anyone out there has some bucks for an independent musician and wants to see this project come to fruition, then i would gladly accept. a worthy endeavour. one i hope zoot is encouraging from his heavenly venue, and in-between sax solos, so why not you too?